End of Month News
Nipponsei End of August News
The #nipponsei benevolent dictatorship has begun a search for rich foreign investor modoki, who was last seen early in the month flying away upon rabbit-ear shaped wings. What happened to modoki is unclear, although sporadic reports from a close relative suggest that there was a horrible accident which may or may not have involved a carrot and/or a medium-large lettuce. With this disappearance, it is notable that any gains to GeneralSmoker's position in the past month have been severely compromised.
Authorities have recently discovered an underground market being operated by twilightBlanc. This so-called !loli market seems to be comprehensive, even going so far as to including a state-run !loliottery. The League of Open Legislative Initiatives has released a press release distancing themselves from this market saying that while they appreciate the homage they are a non-profit organization and bear no affiliation to this venture. The consulting company Triggorz has commented that with all of the shouting necessary to do business in this new market, there is a 72% chance that a new !shota derivative market will spring up to handle the more vocal crowds.
The mass demonstrations against Kanbei have failed to remove Kanbei from the outer inner outer circle of the #nipponsei benevolent dictatorship. Also known as the Left Cheek of OsisNie, Kanbei has earned a reputation for being a "d______" and a "d_______" (as pointed out by conspiracy theorists a "D-D", although few take note of such an apparent coincidence), thus causing a groundswell of support for the replacement of Kanbei with the hop pro tempore Jenag. The replacement was quickly reversed following a successful negative publicity campaign organized by Kanbei against Jenag. It is unclear if Jenag plans to appeal this decision, although ^ is said to be polishing her (actually futanari at the time of writing) fish(es) just in case.
In a bid to increase the tourism trade between the #nipponsei benevolent dictatorship and !boredom, nIghtorius has introduced a new .translate service. The initial reception to this complementary service have been mostly positive, although unexpectedly the majority of users seem more interested in translating to and from Japanese than for the original intended purpose.
The political turmoil surrounding the status of ^ has been largely resolved. In response to accusations of excessive and negligent distribution of processed meat products, ^ had been forced out of the #nipponsei benevolent dictatorship by an unnamed member of the N.G.O. "International Regulatory and Controlling Operators Police Squad". However following a successful appeal to the higher authorities of the #nipponsei benevolent dictatorship, ^ was fully (for the most part) restored to her (actually futanari at the time of writing) former glory with all the right, privileges, and responsibilities implied therein.
With remarkably fortuitous timing following the power vacuum following foreign investor modoki's disappearance, minglong has unveiled two newly created robots: Nippon|Chichi and Nippon|loli. The two new robots are off to a roaring start, although minglong promises that once they are properly worn-in people will no longer need to wear earplugs to approach them.
Examination by the N.G.O. "International Regulatory and Controlling Operators Police Squad" have traced the source of the most recent troll bloom outbreak to a certain province in Candiana. Experts explain the pending seasonal change is expected to naturally drive the bloom into smaller schools in defense from inclement weather and thus reducing their overall impact. In the mean time, this has revived the perennial question amoung philosophers of "if a troll blooms in the channel and nobody is around to hear it, does anybody care?"
The markets have continued to expand, now including 2103 companies. The GODM10 index closed up at $1110541.9, representing a 2.84% increase. minglong (ticker symbol: MINGLONG) has continued to dominate the markets, closing at the astounding $999999.99. aubz (ticker symbol: ABZ) maintained the standing at a distant second closing at $13911.63, followed once again by absinthe (ticker symbol: ABSNTH) in turn closing at $13145.01. Notably the League for Open Legislative Initiatives has raised questions about the fairness of the current evaluations and in response minglong has promised a thorough in-depth investigation of the markets.
PlusVee's quasinatural abilities of recollection have continued to amaze all with her recent surpassing of 753 quotes. When asked to explain these abilities at a recent government reception, PlusVee is reported as having said "uuu, uuu, uwawa" while mimicking rabbit ears with her hands and wagging her hips from side to side. PlusVee then speedily left the reporters to puzzle over what she meant while she got some freshly mixed cake, carrot.Back to News section