End of Month News
Nipponsei End of May News
minglong has nationalized the #nipponsei benevolent dictatorship's financial institutions. Citing that this was entirely in response to recent widespread speculation of rampant inflation amongst analysts and was not, contrary to what conspiracy theorists speculate, a preemptive strike against a purely hypothetical Plan E by OsisNie, and most certainly was not, contrary to what would-be terrorists speculate, a blatant ploy for power at the expense of civil liberties. Government officials were quick to give assurances that the market would continue on as "capitalism with minglongian characteristics". Left-hand woman PlusVee officially had no comment about the event citing that she could not remember anything about the event so could not confirm or deny any accusations of wrong doing on her part. minglong has been quoted as saying "Your money, your money, your money, yaheha. Your money, your money, your money, yaheha...". When asked for where the source of inspiration for this, minglong was also characteristically evasive saying "oh, Nowhere."
Reports have been filtering out of GeneralSmoker City that wide scale partisan (not to mention partisan) fighting between minglongian forces and the insurgency have largely been quelled. A minglongian spokesperson credited this reduction to the power sharing agreement between minglong and GeneralSmoker, and expressed cautious optimism about the future of the coalition government. Furthermore that this occurred shortly after minglong took control of the financial institutions of the #nipponsei benevolent dictatorship was purely a coincidental coincidence.
The "League for Open Legislative Initiatives" is reviewing a petition asking for their support of a newly proposed lo-line. The idea was initially put forward by a certain W-san, although quickly got the support of some #nipponsei benevolent dictatorship officials as high as even CLASSIFIEDdivCLASSIFIED. The N.G.O. "International Regulatory and Controlling Operators Police Squad" representative Sugiura_Midori cautioned against such an undertaking suggesting that when judged against several international regulations and policies it would certainly fail in numerous ways.
The editing board for the minglong Monthly has discovered that iriseyes has been planning a "really annoying trigger" in an attempt to get on the May monthly news. The editing board can not support this type of anti-social behavior from iriseyes and/or proliferation of guns, and has determined that in anticipation of any such effort by iriseyes that iriseyes would not be mentioned in May edition of the minglong Monthly no matter what iriseyes did. Hopefully in the face of such censure iriseyes will show penance, and others looking to copy iriseyes's behavior in a flagrant attempt at self-promotion will reflect upon the parable of iriseyes and choose not to do so. iriseyes.
A certain K-san and W-san (names withheld pending trial conclusion) are currently scheduled to appear in court before judge, jury, and executioner ^. They are contesting who can legitimately be considered the first person to have engaged in a transaction in the newly nationalized markets of the #nipponsei benevolent dictatorship. Legal experts from the consulting company Triggorz has filed a friend-of-the-court brief suggesting that ^ look towards the "Solomon precedent" and have both people declared as the halfth person to have used the newly formed market. ^ has not given a timeline when judgment can be expected, saying she didn't want to prejudice herself before the facts of the case presented themselves.
Despite the suspicious loss of memory in the face of judicial proceedings, PlusVee's not-quite-as-unnatural-as-CLASSIFIEDdivCLASSIFIED's-experiments-but-still-very-unnatural memory continued as she has recently passed 632 quotes. When asked for comment, PlusVee dejectedly answered "anata wa watashi ga doko nimo inai to omotteru". The follow-up question asking where PlusVee got this idea from, PlusVee answered "oh, Nowhere."
Following a period of massive reorganization the markets had a dramatic shrink in size to 690 companies, with the GDOM10 index topping out at $23097.03 representing a 81% loss. Possibly due to being more flexible and willing to experiment with new things, the Jigsy (ticker symbol: JGS) just beat out aubz (ticker symbol: ABZ) in a long and hard contest to top out the leader board in first place. Market analysts are forecasting a tumultuous but otherwise strong market in the coming months.Back to News section