End of Month News
Nipponsei End of November News The #nipponsei benevolent dictatorship security forces are currently on the lookout for an OsisNie impersonator for purportedly infiltrating the #nipponsei benevolent dictatorship inner circle. Having adopted an OsisNieCostume, the perpetrator quickly baffled and confused officials, most notably OsisNie himself, and was able to assume the mantle of authority. It is still unclear the objectives of this person or persons was, but he or she or it or they were quickly discovered and driven from the inner circle shortly after All Hallows' Day. IrisEyes, Kanbei, and twilightNoir were ousted from their positions of authority within the outer inner circle of the government by OsisNie for the ironically appropriate same reasons they were allowed in in the first place. The government is quick to point out that this is entirely unrelated to the continuing purge of CLASSIFIEDdiv'sCLASSIFIED Clone Army (tm) from the #nipponsei benevolent dictatorship, that these three individuals are not suspected members of CLASSIFIEDdiv'sCLASSIFIED Clone Army™, and rumours suggesting they are are only rumours which suggest they are and have no more substance to them than that. The consulting company Triggorz has suggested that this most recent development represents the continuing decline of the OsisNie circle of power, as well as possibly inclinations of OsisNie to cosmetic surgery to remove so many body parts, in the post power-sharing government formed by GeneralSmoker and minglong. In an attempt to combat rumours as to the decline of OsisNie's power and influence, he has delivered a speech describing the current state of the #nipponsei benevolent dictatorship and describing a path forward to the future. Notable, he asserted that "this is our time - to put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids; to restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace; to reclaim the #nipponsei benevolent dictatorshiptic dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth - that out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope, and where we are met with cynicism and doubt, and those who tell us that we can't, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people: yes, we can." Responses to this speech have been mixed, although pundits suggest this was one of the better speeches that OsisNie has given and that they expect the words to be borrowed heavily from others in the future. The planned 7 days of mourning of the loss and presumption of death of minglong have been thrown into confusion with the return of minglong during the planning stages. PlusVee is quoted as explaining "while minglong's return while we were planning the mourning of the disappearance of minglong was very helpful as prior to that we were short staffed, it does throw up all kinds of complications in the event itself such as if it is appropriate for minglong to deliver the eulogy to minglong." The latest press releases suggest officials are optimistic at maintaining the original schedule despite the confusion. Following a tumultuous month in which PlusVee re-nationalized the #nipponsei benevolent dictatorship's financial institutions in a bid to grab power from the absent minglong, and minglong's re-re-nationalization of the #nipponsei benevolent dictatorship's financial institutions upon returning, the market only had a modest gain this month, with the GODM10 index closing up at $1177092.23, representing 2981 companies and an increase of 1.42%. As usual, the leader board is topped out by minglong (ticker symbol: MINGLONG) at $999999.99, followed by aubz (ticker symbol: ABZ) at $21226.51. The battle for third place is tightly contested though, with absinthe (ticker symbol: ABSNTH) barely in the lead with $19798.72. The consulting company Triggorz is quick to point out that with this global recession looming, the continued, albeit slowing, increase of the #nipponsei benevolent dictatorship markets is in and of itself something quite remarkable. PlusVee has continued to flabbergast observers by learning, memorizing, and being able to recite over 808 quotes on demand. Despite this incredible accomplishment PlusVee remains modest, apologizing in a recent press conference "I know. I know I've let you down. I've been a fool to myself. I thought that I could live for no-one else." Who PlusVee was addressing this comment to is unclear though, and is likely to remain a mystery as the mood of the press conference abruptly lightened with OsisNie's giving PlusVee a carrot to cheer up her depression, and the ensuring scene making follow-up questions by reporters impossible. Back to News section |