End of Month News
Nipponsei End of October News
The #nipponsei benevolent dictatorship has ordered 7 days of celebrations, including but not limited to balloons, a 183.2 (and three temps) person marching band procession, and a choral rendition from a local all-girl's school of Pachebel's Canon, in celebration of the triumphant return of the #nipponsei benevolent dictatorship's leading lady of PlusVee from her excursion to the US Government and her successful manipulation of the legislative process of the financial stimulus package to the advantage of the #nipponsei benevolent dictatorship, ensuring the continued health and wellbeing of the #nipponsei benevolent dictatorship's economy, or at least selected members therein. Her handler of OsisNie has returned as well, who was gifted an extra-large tomato and/or a medium-large lettuce as thanks as well in a modestly attended ceremony.
Officials are investigating the source of the massive influx of guests appearing in the #nipponsei benevolent dictatorship. Countless previously thought of reliable #nipponsei benevolent dictatorship subjects were unmasked in a series of stings by the N.G.O. "International Regulatory and Controlling Operators Police Squad" to be in fact Guests in disguise. Numbers were so drastic as to completely overwhelm immigration services and required the direct intervention of OsisNie himself to resolve the situation. This most recent of incidents has stoked the flames of fear amoung proactionary progovernmental pros, demonstrating how advanced CLASSIFIEDdiv'sCLASSIFIED Clone Army (tm) in support of His's purely hypothetical plan D Iv such that He was able to replace even members of the outer inner circle of the #nipponsei benevolent dictatorship, and they are advocating a preemptive strike against Him. The government has made no statement as to whether this action is on or off the table at this time.
The national anthropological and sociological society has been thrown into disarray at the surprised revealing of a new official history of the members of the #nipponsei benevolent dictatorship. That the unofficial official (not to be confused with official unofficial) #nipponsei benevolent dictatorship biographer is currently thought of to be missing in Japan and working as a shrine maiden had originally led to speculation that this new compendium was a forgery, but such theories were brushed aside as the new papers were presented by the infallible (except when mistaken) minglong. Sources close to the government have suggested that a certain #nipponsei benevolent dictatorship official has taken this as a sign and is renewing his push to be added to the official history of the #nipponsei benevolent dictatorship.
As a credit to PlusVee's deft manipulation of global financial markets and international governmental policy, the market continued its steady climb despite the international troubled times, now including over 2786 companies with the GODM10 index closing up 2.01%, or at $1160585.62. minglong (ticker symbol: MINGLONG), as expected, continues to set the high water mark at $999999.99, with the predictable distant second of aubz (ticker symbol: ABZ) at $19147.29, and Jigsy (ticker symbol: JGS) in a closely contested third at $18026.01. Slightly souring the good mood of the market though, the consulting company Triggorz is predicting that as the latest governmental audit conducted my minglong has suggested some overall market irregularities, in particular with aubz, and that there is a 45% chance of a major shakeup in the market in the near future, and that market leaders in particular should be prepared to weather the fallout.
PlusVee seems none the worse for the wear of international travel and politicking, and has outdone herself yet again with a prodigious 776 notable statements and actions memorized. When asked how she manages to keep all of the quotes straight, PlusVee instead explained "mada mada jimi da ne." Then, after distracting the reporting crew with some elegant hand gestures, she made good her escape before any follow-up questions could be asked.Back to News section